Objects are the obvious answer and the weakest one. They cost real money, they run out of novelty in a day, and they set a price that only goes up.
The four kinds that hold up
| Kind | Examples | Why it works |
|---|---|---|
| Time with you, alone | An hour, just the two of you, doing what they choose | The single most requested thing when children are actually asked |
| Permission | Staying up thirty minutes, choosing dinner, picking the music in the car | Free, immediate, and it feels like status |
| Access | The good headphones, the front seat, the big screen | Costs nothing and is genuinely wanted |
| An outing | The place they keep asking about | The far one. Worth saving toward for weeks |
The question that beats any list
Ask them. Not "what do you want", which produces a bicycle, but "what would be a really good hour". The answers are usually small, oddly specific, and nothing you would have guessed. One family's best prize was being allowed to answer the phone.
One to avoid
Anything they already have. Making screen time the currency means every reward is a loan against something that was theirs this morning, and the day they work out that the deal has made them poorer is the day the system ends.