"That's amazing" costs nothing to say and a child can tell. By about six most of them have worked out that it is what adults say while they are looking at something else.
The move that fixes it
Say the specific thing you noticed. Not an evaluation, a description.
| Instead of | Say |
|---|---|
| That's brilliant | You have done all the windows on this side and none on that side, because that is where the sun is |
| Good job | You started that again after it went wrong the first time |
| You're so clever | You worked that one out without asking me |
The right-hand column takes ten seconds longer and it is the difference between being praised and being seen. It also gives them something to repeat, which a compliment does not.
Why "clever" is worth avoiding
Praise aimed at a fixed quality gives a child something to protect. If the good thing about them is being clever, an experiment that goes wrong is a threat to it, so the safe move is to attempt easier things. Praise aimed at what they did has no such trap, because effort can always be repeated.
What to say when it is not good
This is the case that breaks most advice, and it comes up constantly. A child brings you something rushed, or wrong, or barely attempted, and "that's amazing" is a lie they can detect.
Description still works, because description does not require a verdict. "You did the whole top half and then you were done with it" is true, is not unkind, and is not praise. Very often a child will answer it themselves, which is a far better route to a second attempt than being told to go and try harder.
The thing not to add
The word "but". A described observation followed by a correction is heard entirely as the correction, and it retrains the child to wait through the nice part for the real message. If something does need saying, say it separately, later, and not while they are still holding the thing they made.