"Don't" describes an absence. An absence is not an action, it cannot be rehearsed, and it is not something anybody can be proud of having achieved. A child reading "no hitting" on a good day has done nothing they can point at.
Rewrite it as the thing that actually happened, in their words, in the first person. It is a small change and it alters what the chart is for.
Rewrites that work
| Instead of | Write |
|---|---|
| No hitting | Kept my hands to myself |
| Stop arguing | Said yes the first time |
| Don't give up | Asked for help when it got hard |
| No shouting | Said how I was feeling |
| Don't be mean to your sister | Was kind to my brother or sister |
| Stop messing about at bedtime | Went to bed when it was time |
| No lying | Told the truth even when it was hard |
| Don't lose your temper | Took myself somewhere calm |
The three rules underneath those rewrites
Say what they did, not what they avoided. "Kept my hands to myself" is a thing a child performed. "No hitting" is a thing that failed to happen, which is not an achievement anybody can feel.
Write it in their voice, not yours. "I" and "my", not "he" or "she". The line is going to be read by a child about themselves, and third person turns it into a report an adult is filing about them.
Make it small enough to be true today. "Was good at school" cannot be answered honestly. "Started the first time I was asked" can. If a line cannot be answered yes or no about a specific moment, it will quietly turn into a general verdict on the child, which is the thing you were trying to get away from.
The line worth adding that nobody thinks of
Whatever else is on the chart, add this one:
“I had a hard moment and I came back.”
Without it, a bad day earns nothing, and a day that earns nothing is the day the chart stops being worth anything to a child who has just had one. It is also the only line on most charts that a child who struggles can always reach — which is why it should be worth exactly what the other hard things are worth, and never more. Worth more, and you have quietly built a chart that singles them out for the thing they find hardest.